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Classical Gas

7/26/2018

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The operative word this week is “gaslighting,” a psychological tactic that sows seeds of doubt in the targeted victim in order to gain more power over them. It is a common technique of abusers, dictators, narcissists, and cult leaders. It is done slowly, so the victim doesn't realize how much they have been brainwashed.

Within the realm of aging, consider the elderly mother whose son or daughter convinces her that she needs to be admitted to a nursing home. She still takes care of herself and still remembers to do what she needs to do, but her son or daughter has convinced her that she can no longer trust her mind.

To start, the son or daughter might move things around in her home and tell her he doesn't know where they are. Or, the son or daughter might tell her she remembers something incorrectly. At issue: some children want their parents in nursing homes so they can stop worrying about them, even if the parent is still capable of making their own decisions. Other children want the parent's home, car, possessions, or control of their money.

The best way to defend yourself against gaslighting is to know that it’s being done to you. Here are some techniques gaslighters use to put you under their spell:

1. Blatantly lie.
2. Deny they ever said something, even though you have proof. 
3. Attack the foundation of your being, like your love for your children, and telling you that you could be a worthy person if only you didn't have a long list of negative traits.
4. Wear you down over time with a series of lies or snide comments.
5. When their actions do not match their words--what they are saying means nothing; it is just talk; what they are doing is the issue. 
6. Offer positive reinforcement to confuse you, and/or to purposely confuse you with conflicting information. 
7. Accuse you of something so often that you start trying to defend yourself, which distracts from the gaslighter’s own behavior. 
8. Align people against you, making you feel isolated and not knowing who to trust.
10. Tell you or others that you are crazy to the extent that people will not believe you when you tell them the gaslighter is abusive or out-of-control.  
11. Tell you everyone else is a liar, making you question their believability and your reality.

Learn More:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/here-there-and-everywhere/201701/11-warning-signs-gaslighting
https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/relations/gaslighting-a-sneaky-kind-of-emotional-abuse/
https://www.wikihow.com/Recover-from-Gaslighting
https://www.theguardian.com/science/2017/mar/16/gaslighting-manipulation-reality-coping-mechanisms-trump
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When In the Course of Human Events

7/19/2018

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ConfrontingAging rarely, if ever, makes any political statements. However, much of what needs to be said about President Trump’s performance in Helsinki earlier this week was sketched out in our nation’s Declaration of Independence from Great Britain in 1776.

The history of the present King of Great Britain (President Trump) is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.
  • He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.
  • He has exposed the State to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.
  • He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither.
  • He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary powers.
  • He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.
  • He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation.
  • For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world…For imposing Taxes (tariffs) on us without our Consent.
  • For abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments.
In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.
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This and That

7/12/2018

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A San-Francisco-based startup employs certified wellness consultants who are paid on commission to educate seniors living in California about cannabis, and help them purchase pot products. Octavia Wellness specializes in selling cannabis products that are formulated to avoid causing the psychoactive effects usually associated with smoking pot.

Using Octavia Wellness’s online store, seniors can purchase CBD drops, salves and creams, along with more traditional marijuana products such as vaporizer cartridges, edibles and pot “flowers,” which are also known as bud or leaf marijuana. Octavia Wellness then uses a licensed delivery partner to ship directly to seniors who live in municipalities and communities that allow it. 
Senior Housing

Retirement can be like a distant dream until it suddenly dawns on you that in five years you might actually find reason to do it. With retirement looming, here’s a five-year plan to consider. Click second link in Learn More...NY Times

A new study by the Royal College of Surgeons in Ireland has found that more than half of men aged over 50 binge drink, while 22% of women over 50 engage in “heavy episodic drinking." Men who have retired are “significantly more likely” to binge drink, while both men and women with higher education levels are drinking more frequently. London Times


Learn More:

https://seniorhousingnews.com/2018/07/11/growing-bay-area-startup-connects-residents-55-communities-pot/?utm_campaign=SHN%20Daily%20Email&utm_source=hs_email&utm_medium=email&utm_content=64391761&_hsenc=p2ANqtz-8cY0flWZnBWa5GMew_fRgmbkIq5Q499BF1vxGxwHaZazsL0C9pdfjlbppQncxwPUNh5iYSOu2DNT7CVShToci6BNfZMA&_hsmi=64391761

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/07/06/business/retirement-five-year-plan.html?hp&action=click&pgtype=Homepage&clickSource=story-heading&module=second-column-region&region=top-news&WT.nav=top-news

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/edition/ireland/retired-men-are-more-likely-to-be-binge-drinkers-says-study-by-royal-college-of-surgeons-80lm5fhh3
 
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In the Hood with Mr. Rogers

7/5/2018

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Celebrating 50 years since Mr. Rogers' television show for children first aired on PBS...six lessons to maintain a positive spin on life and the world around you. 
​
  1. Maintaining a daily routine and something that brings you care and comfort can get you through hard times no matter your age.
  2. It feels good to have made something even if you aren’t very good at making it.
  3. It always helps to change into your comfortable play clothes at the end of the day to add a sense of separation between work and home.
  4. Playing make believe can be good for the soul.
  5. In times of disaster, look for the caring people around you who are willing to help if they know that you need help.
  6. Be a good neighbor, offering empathy and grace especially to someone who needs some.

Learn More:  
https://www.nextavenue.org/learn-from-mister-rogers-as-adults/?hide_newsletter=true&utm_source=Next+Avenue+Email+Newsletter&utm_campaign=3b70d4b24e-07.03.2018_Tuesday_Newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_056a405b5a-3b70d4b24e-165523841&mc_cid=3b70d4b24e&mc_eid=4b8d7515b9
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  • Home
    • Caring for Elderly Parent
    • Eating & Exercise
    • Emerging Technology & Concepts >
      • End of Life Options/Issues/Grieving >
        • VSED Primer
    • Entrepreneurship
    • Health Challenges
    • History of Aging >
      • Ancient Egypt, India, China
      • Before 1500
      • 1500s & 1600s
      • 1700s & 1800s
      • 1900s & 2000s
      • Early New England (1600s)
      • Quest To Look Young
      • Books
    • Housing Options & Aging in Place Guide
    • Insurance, Security, Fraud
    • Intergenerational Programs
    • LGBT
    • News & Trends
    • Positive/Successful Aging
    • Retirement/Estate Planning
    • Science of Aging
    • Support Resources
    • Travel
    • Weekly Blog
  • About
  • Contact